The Snoop

I've caught a disease from the subway. No, nothing nasty- I'm talking about "The Snoop." What started as mild curiosity about what people around me are reading, writing, or discussing has morphed into an insatiable need to snoop into these things as much as I can without looking like a total creep. Here are some examples of what I've discovered lately while under the influence of The Snoop:

-A few days ago, I found myself sitting next to a man in a relatively uncrowded subway car. The seats were not all taken, so it wasn't necessary to sit really close to my neighbors, but I found myself inching toward this specific man as I caught snippets of his reading material. Words like "Brazilian waxes," "vaginal problems," and "security cameras" jumped out at me. Can you blame me? Turns out, a woman named Bunny (seriously) had been performing Brazilian bikini waxes on clients for years at a completely legit spa and a certain client with alleged vaginal problems was (perhaps) suing the spa for (maybe) having video cameras in the rooms. Don't hold me to this outline; I am not clear on the details. I do know that this document looked like legal paperwork; however, this man did not look like an attorney. He was wearing a Canadian tuxedo (all denim) & work boots...but he was editing this document and writing comments in red ink like "irrelevant" and "should omit." The whole thing was just wacky...but it made my ride fly by.

Lesson: If I need a bikini wax in NYC, don't go to ____ spa. Do bring my own sanitizer and look around for cameras.

-While sitting next to a man in his early thirties, I "happened" to glance down at what he was writing. Expecting it to be a hardware store shopping list, or directions, or...something else men write, I was thrown off when I realized he was writing a love note! I'm not sure if it was an actual love letter or it was a guideline to what he was going to say to someone later, but I definitely caught "Without you, I do not feel ok. I feel like I can't stand up and I don't know where I'm going." As I teared up, I stood and moved to the doors to give him some space, even though my stop wasn't coming up for another 5 minutes.

Lesson: Being a freakishly fast reader is not always a great quality. I definitely don't want anyone reading my "love vents" over my shoulder...but then again, I don't write them down on the subway. So, keep the writing on the train impersonal: grocery lists, music to download, homework, etc.


-And finally, a situation during which I was the object of someone else's Snoop: During an intense game of Tetris on my phone, I became aware that a boy (about 13 years old) next to me was also very involved in the game. He was getting pretty emotional about it, too- he was moving his body as the pieces were situated and doing air punches when I made particularly "impressive" moves (I really didn't know someone could get that into Tetris). His friend was getting kind of embarrassed and kicked him and told him to stop. My fan replied "No, man, she's schoolin' this! She's schoolin' it!" He continued to cheer me on until his stop came- I shut it down shortly after he left because I just didn't feel quite so heroic puzzling geometric pieces together without my #1 fan.

Lesson: Sometimes The Snoop affects people in a good way. I was reassured that if people do notice the times this disorder takes ahold of me, it isn't always annoying and creepy; in fact, it may make someone feel flattered and interesting. (But I still need to try to control myself. Perhaps I should look into blinders.)