torture and cookies

today, i thought of a great idea for a new form of torture.

induce a hangover somehow (maybe intravenous vodka, since that's apparently what i went for last night) then lock the victim in a room filled with items of every shape, size, and material imaginable. the victim must wrap each gift without it looking like a psychotic wolf did the job (in other words, make it pretty).

hey, here's a great idea. let's mix up approximately 48967 pounds of frosting and tweak it with food coloring until it is so flawless that bob ross would be proud to lovingly dabble in it on his palatte. let's do this by instructing a 3 year old and a 5 year old to either "add a liiiiittle more color in" or "oops, too much- better add some white back in," because that's obviously the most productive way to get the job done. next, let's slap the aforementioned frosting onto cookies shaped like stars, santas, trees, and ornaments until granny has a satisfactory collection of terrible tasting yet festive cookies to push on people who don't want them. except pop...he wants them.

this just in: i want to die.